Owning Your History

As an author dedicated to sharing what she has learned in this lifetime, with the intent of helping others heal their troubled pasts, often times I find myself teetering upon quite a delicate tightrope.

Because I believe firmly that most emotional woes are rooted in codependent thought processes, I do not believe it is possible to heal a wound one cannot name.  Healing codependency requires great personal courage as well as conviction.  Most abusers deny that any abuse has ever taken place, which leaves the child victim not only feeling invalidated but often questioning their own perceptions of the past.  In these types of cases, defining wounds of the past can be a most daunting task.

When caretakers refuse to acknowledge any abuse has taken place, it is up to the individual in search of healing to learn to honor their own perceptions, in spite of being invalidated by the others in their lives.  Healing can often be a most terrifying experience.  Exposing skeletons others deny, ignore, or flat out accuse you of lying about is heroic.

Codependency is the result of faulty childhood programming and is rooted in the guts of emotional wounds suffered as a child.  Psychological wounds of childhood are critical to unearth for many reasons.  Because the perceptions we formed about our selves and our worth were formed when our 'child minds' were being molded, who we think we are today and how we behave is directly related to our unconscious perceptions that were created when we were the most impressionable.

Learning to own one's own history is the key to healing the wounds of the past.

Learning to trust the pain our memories create allows us to own our experiences, in spite of the veils of denial others try vehemently to throw over our faces.

Healing is possible.  But in my humble opinion, only if one is willing to explore the soil of their inner child's mind.

How To Love Without Need

All love starts with self love.  Although this statement is undeniable true, the fact remains that throughout history (thus our societal conditioning-programming) the messages we have received have failed to produce a sense within us that love is that simple.

If you are not a happy person, you cannot offer others happiness.

If you are not a content individual, you cannot offer contentment.

If you are not a forgiving creature, you cannot be forgiving.

And if you do not love your inner being (your self) you cannot love another.

From the time we children were very young we have been taught that love is about beauty, youth, and often times about money.  We have been subliminally bombarded with concepts that leave us feeling like love is about struggle, adversity, chaos, jealousy, lust, and hot sex.

And because our society has been inundated by the media with such negative representations about love, we are a nation that is understandably confused and epidemically dissatisfied with marriages and with relationships in general.

It is a basic human need to feel loved, appreciated, and contented.  And it is natural for the mind to seek outside of itself for ideas about what love is and should be.  If our parents were misguided and unhappy, we sadly learn to believe that their model for love is what love should look and feel like.  We then go out into the world and unfortunately attract only what we know.

It is also true and natural for a being to be vulnerable to subliminal messages.  Our minds are only about 5% conscious.  Advertises looking to boost profits use our own psychology to our disadvantage.  We receive tens of thousands pieces of information a day directing our subconscious minds towards dysfunctional concepts.  Sex and lust are coupled with consumer products with the intent of stirring within the subconscious mind a connection to ones primal mechanisms.

The consequences of such marketing are often disregarded.  And this fact makes the being I am very sad.

Our divorce rate is staggering.  Our children are riddled with drug addictions.  The suicide rate amongst very young children rises each year.  Anti depressants are being prescribed in alarming numbers, and our streets are home to growing numbers of the homeless.

Because we humans all too often give up our right to think--the general mass population behaves more like cattle than a capable conscious beings.

We fail to recognize the onslaught of subliminal marketing and allow our minds to be molded like clay by those humans who are clever enough to use another's psychology against them.

People fall to the idea that love is supposed to feel more like a roller coaster than it is about a walk in the park.  People fall prey to the idea that only beautiful people are worthy.  Men are manipulated into believing what another man's concept of beauty is--and in turn women are manipulated into believing that because they don't meet the general consensus' criteria for beauty--they are innately unworthy.

Unconscious minds then seek out the next best thing...Unknowingly beings settle for distraction in lieu of this thing called love, and inevitably spend a life chasing their tales in search of a thing they are being subliminally conditioned to misunderstand.

How to love without need?

It is possible.  But it first requires detaching and turning away from what 'society' so desperately wants you to stay attached to.

Owning your own mind is crucial to a successful and happy life.  Allowing others to determine what you define as love is like asking Ted Bundy to show you the way.  If you don't question your own mind, then the marketing geniuses of our time will use the spare brain cells you fail to ignite to their own profitable advantage.

Not needing others to define for you the meaning of love, and being intellectually as well as emotionally resilient enough to go against the grain are amongst the first few psychological hurdles a mind must take on their journey towards love.

All love starts with self love.

Detach from the chaos of the outside world, long enough to feel the innate peaceful rhythm of who you are, and then slowly milk that peacefulness until it is like a loud drum beat in your head, which is loud enough to drown out the mass stupidity around you.

Namaste...