So you just found out your husband has a mistress.
So how long have you suspected this to be so? Be honest....
I know it hurts. I know you are angry and confused, resentful, and full of anxiety...but what I would like you to do is think...think...think...think...and then think some more.
This pain is not of you-meaning; you my dear were not created to spend your life in pain, confusion, anger or resentment. You were not born to be second to a partner. You my darling, regardless of where you live, what you look like or how much money you earn, or do not earn, have not been put into a physical body to spend its lifetime here on this physical planet tortured for any reason what so ever.
You are a divine spiritual energy being whose soul purpose is to grow, expand, to learn, to love, to laugh and to live breathing in all that is positive and splendid on this magnificent planet we call earth.
At this moment, you are so far removed from your truth that you cannot see the forest through the trees. You cannot see how spectacular the sunset is, or how magical the sunrise is, or how enormous the heavens are. You cannot appreciate how magnificently geese fly in formation, or how miraculous the birth of a child is because in your present state; in your physical state all you can feel is the pain of what you see before you.
But my dear...think...think higher..think deeper...just think...
Just because you have now discovered your husbands infidelity does not mean that the sky, the oceans, or the mountains are any less fantastic than they truly are. It just means you are cutting yourself off from how miraculous they are, because you are allowing the physical pain to steal you away from places of joy that are still stored in you somewhere.
I have always said, that truth, no matter how painful is only real road to happiness.
If your husband is having an affair, thank him...Thank him for showing you you deserve more.
Thank him for giving you the chance to declare to the world that you deserve better.
Thank him for being the one to have the courage to admit, at least on some level, that neither of you were truly happy.
Thank him for showing his true lack of character now, so that you still have time to find a man who believes in integrity before your physical life comes to an end.
Thank him for giving you the chance to practice surrender.
Thank him for teaching you to trust your instincts.
Thank him for being the reason you can let go and know you never have to look back.
Thank him for the chance to have off the hook, sex with another man who is more your equal.
Thank him for all the lessons you learned up until now, and for being the diving board for which you can spring off of and start beginning a new, more full, more real, and more gratifying life.
And while you are at it...send thoughts of thanks for the mistress too....
Thank her for showing you that you are not her...You know you're not a runner up...
Thank her for showing you what kind of woman you are not...You are not a back stabbing ego, denial based woman...
Thank her for getting your cheating husband out of your life, so that you can go and find a real man, who may not be perfect, but who believes in fidelity...
Thank her for giving your husband a reason to leave...
Thank her for all the nights you won't be cleaning his dirty underwear, picking up his smelly socks, or cooking his meals...
Thank her for your chance at a new life, free of ever having to have sex with a man who is not faithful.
Thank her for all the alimony, and child support and future weekends alone to do whatever you want...because daddy and she will of course have the children every other weekend...
Thank her for all the cooking classes, yoga classes, facials, massages and dance lessons you are going to finally have the free time for..
And then...when you are done thanking them both for letting you go, turn around, get in your car and drive to a wide open space...Then look up, see the heavens and shout a big "thank you" to the universe too...
Sister...trust me...you'll be fine... In fact you're going to be better than fine...The life you wish to design is waiting...
Love,
Lisa
